#4 Evaluating Intercultural Communication

"Why did you buy me a clock and white chrysanthemum flowers on my birthday?!" shrieked Lorraine.

"It's really romantic right? I think the chrysanthemum flowers really suit you! Oh by the way, will you be my girlfriend?" asked Jack with barely concealed glee publicly in the classroom.

SMACK!

A bewildered Jack received a tight slap to his face. Pandemonium ensued in the classroom as Lorraine attempted to rain more blows on Jack, who was shielded by our classmates

I really regretted not giving Jack more accurate advice on his surprise for Lorraine. Jack Dillon and I were close friends and classmates in college. He was born in the city of Wisconsin, America, and had lived in Singapore for a good 10 years. One would really expect him to be at least aware of what items are definitely not to be given as gifts; certainly not the Chinese emblems of death, to a Chinese girl on her birthday.

The Chinese culture is one that is hinged on superstition and omens. Unfortunately, it is believed to be "unlucky" if one were to give a clock, or any instrument that indicates time to someone else as a gift because it reminds them of their mortality. Therefore it is rude to even give an expensive watch to a Chinese, as it is tantamount to wishing the receiver a swift death.

Moreover, white chrysanthemums are thought to be "universal" symbols of death as they are often used in funerals. Yet when I probed Jack behind his intention for this flower, he simply told me that chrysanthemums represent honesty and purity in America. This admittedly intrigued me because I was brought up in a culture where I've never seen these flowers being used as gifts to anyone and definitely not to start a relationship.

It had been my idea to purchase a practical gift for Lorraine, coupled with flowers to signify his romantic intent. We were texting each other feverishly on the eve of her birthday during class on what flower he should purchase. Unfortunately we had yet to reach a conclusion when I had to attend a project conference. Since Lorraine broke her watch a week ago and had yet to purchase a replacement, Jack must have thought it was extremely practical to purchase her another watch.

It was appalling to me, that Jack did not conduct any research to his gift, and that Lorraine would react so irrationally. Till that day, I've never thought of her to be someone particular about her roots that the superstitions of our forefathers would be intrinsic in her. I guess that it would be prudent to not assume the concept of a "universal culture", because as it turns out, our gifts and actions can be deemed extremely offensive to people of different cultures. Moreover, she might have felt further incensed that Jack had the cheek to publicly ask to start a relationship with her with those gifts.

Jack and Lorraine finally patched their friendship later that week, and just got attached this year while studying abroad. You can imagine my surprise when I received word through his email.

This story has been written with the permission of the involved persons, whose names and birth history (for Jack) have been changed deliberately for the purpose of this story to protect their identity. Any relation to other persons and their life experience is purely coincidental. To the happy couple who have read this blog post, hearty congratulations once again =)

"Jack" maybe you buy her roses this time.

Additional Post - A Real Life Scenario

Dear all,

I am applying to go for an International Summer Programme at Korea University! Not only is this the perfect time to showcase the skills I learnt in the course, but also a chance for me to receive further feedback of my writing style! So here is my response to a PERSONAL STATEMENT that is part of the application form.

Any feedback rendered is greatly appreciated!

Cheers!

Please include a personal statement of about 500 words as to why you wish to you to go for your selected programme and how it will benefit you.

Travelling to Korea has always been my dream, as it is arguably the hub of Asia, sporting multitudinous musical, entertainment, historical, culinary and technological attractions. Moreover, I have always been impressed at the polite disposition of the Koreans. As one of the country’s oldest and top ranked universities, KU is renowned for its excellence and comprehensiveness in teaching. I therefore crave at not only living in one of Asia’s most technologically advanced cities, but also to experience varsity life at this premium university.

The summer programme offered by KU is therefore an excellent opportunity for four reasons. Firstly, I relish the chance to intern under either of Korea’s two most famed companies, Samsung and LG. As a student, intensive industrial practicum is invaluable, as it opens our eyes to realistic situations that we have been shielded from under the shelter of our education system. More interestingly, the internship scope in these corporations is outside the field of engineering. As it is too important to be multidisciplinary in our society, this internship equips me with important skills of another discipline that I can apply in my engineering industrial practicum, and subsequently my corporate life.

Secondly, KU allows me to take any courses offered in the summer. This allows me to experience different learning structures and methods while undertaking interesting courses. The course that I am keen to take up is “Korean Philosophy”, as I am interested to understand the beliefs that shape the cognitive acumen of Koreans, setting them apart from others. Furthermore, the many other courses specifically tailored to Korea that will also be equally fulfilling in my desire of cultural immersion and intellectual molding. I believe that going through this unique Korean pedagogy will alter my perception of academia, provide educational diversity and a memorable experience that I will cherish and want to share with my peers.

Thirdly, the programme gives me the chance to learn a third language. As Korea is becoming increasingly vibrant and cosmopolitan, the Korean language has also become more frequently spoken. Hence, gaining some mastery of it opens up many doors for me to communicate with others and widen my social circle. Personally, I feel that acquiring a fundamental proficiency in a third language is definitely an essential skill set one should aim to acquire in life, and I would therefore fully cherish this experience.

Lastly, this summer programme allows me to tour the city of Seoul and experience first hand the heartbeat of Korea. In addition, this program grants me an opportunity to experience varsity life in a foreign university. This encourages me to take part in meaningful varsity activities that I might have missed out in NUS.

In conclusion, the opportunity to study at KU and intern in Korea is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I would live to regret if I were to let it pass me by. As a keen learner and a dynamic student, I feel that this summer programme would be highly beneficial.

Additional Post - My Resume

Titus Lim Hsien Yong

Professional Communication LetUsChatterStreet

Block 1000 #55-055

Singapore 891246

Mobile Number: 8192 4675

Email: tituslhy@hotmail.com

Objective:

To enroll as a graduate student for the Masters of Science in Chemical Engineering

Practice (M.S CEP) in the Department of Chemical Engineering, Massachusetts

Institute of Technology (MIT).

Summary of Personal Skills:

·      Dynamic and objective student with competent intellectual acumen. Able to grasp complex concepts and translate learning to developing effective solutions.

·      Keen and tenacious learner. Diligent student fully committed to the fruition of academia and self-enrichment goals.

·      Resourceful leader who is able to manage key appointments and build strong rapport with group members. Consistently meeting project deadlines and excelling in performance.

·      Outstanding presentation and writing skills.

·      Able to use MATLAB (Matrix Laboratory) programming software and familiar with Microsoft Office software.

Academic Achievements:

National University of Singapore (NUS)                                         2011 – Present

Candidate for the Bachelor of Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering      

·      Secured a place in the NUS Global Engineering Programme – an accelerated bachelor’s programme to groom outstanding students.

·      Awarded the NUS Undergraduate Scholarship.

Anderson Junior College                                                                  2007 - 2008

Awarded the GCE ‘A’ Level Certificate (7As)

·      Awarded the Top Student Award by the college for performing amongst the top 1% of cohort in the GCE ‘A’ Levels of 2008.

·      Awarded the Certificate of Accomplishment for completing the Alpha Programme with Distinction – the college’s premium programme to groom academically strong students in areas of leadership, community service and group achievement programme.

·      Awarded the Edusave Awards for Achievement, Good Leadership and Service (EAGLES) by Mrs. Yu-Foo Yee Shoon, Minister of State in 2008.

·      Represented the College in the prestigious American Mathematics Competition in 2008.

Saint Andrew’s Secondary School                                                   2003 – 2006

Graduated with the GCE ‘O’ Level Certificate (5As & 2Bs)

·      Awarded the Edusave Scholarships in 2005 and 2006 for performing amongst the top 10% of the cohort.

·      Placed First in Subject for Chinese in the GCE ‘O’ Levels of 2006.

·      Awarded the EAGLES by Mrs. Yu-Foo Yee Shoon, Minister of State in 2006.

Other Achievements:

National Service                                                                               2009 – 2011

·      Served as an Investigation Officer at the Special Investigations Branch, Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) Military Police Command.

·      Nominated for Best Soldier of the Month of January 2011.

Co-Curricular Activities (Anderson Junior College)                       2007 - 2008

·      Awarded the College Colors Award in 2008 for outstanding performance in Chinese Chess.

·      Awarded the Sports Leaders Award in 2008 for outstanding academic and co-curricular activity performance.

·      Awarded the Platinum Award for Community Involvement Programme (CIP) contributions (more than 120hrs of CIP).

·      President of the Anderson Junior College Chess Club 2008.

·      Undertook and headed extracurricular CIP projects as the Head of Communications in liaison with the Lion Befrienders Association of Singapore (North) to organize a Mid-Autumn Celebration for Senior Citizens.

·      Lead the AJC Chinese Chess team to 1^st position in the Raffles Cup, 2^nd Annual Hwa Chong Cup chess competitions in 2008.

Co-Curricular Activities (Saint Andrew’s Secondary School)         2003 -2006

·      Awarded the Certificate of Merit for Leadership and Exemplary Contribution to the Prefectorial Board.

·      Awarded the Lincoln Award for extraordinary resilience and aptitude in execution of prefectorial duties.

·      Vice President of the Saints Mind Games Club and Captain of the Saints Chinese Chess team.

·      Placed 1^st in the Saints Chess Open for the Chinese Chess category.

·      Executive Committee of the English Language Drama and Debating Society.

·      Key Member of the Saints Debating and Oratorical Team.

Additional Information:

·      Languages: Fluent in English and Mandarin, written and spoken.

·      Personal Interests: Politics, Community Service, Mathematics and Science.

- References Available Upon Request -

My Application Letter

Professional Communication Road

LetUsChatter Drive

Singapore 892134

8 February 2014

Professor Klavs F. Jensen

Department of Chemical Engineering

Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT)

77 Massachusetts Ave

Cambridge MA 02139 USA

Dear Professor Jensen,

I am writing to apply for entry to the Masters of Science in Chemical Engineering Practice (M.S. CEP) graduate program. Having completed my Undergraduate degree at the National University of Singapore (NUS) in 2013, I hope to embark on a challenging and rewarding graduate education at MIT, the premium university for Chemical Engineers.

I believe that apart from promoting a more cohesive varsity life at MIT, I will also be able to cope with the rigors of graduate education. As a student in the prestigious Global Engineering Programme (GEP) in NUS, I had to bear the additional academic workload to accelerate the completion of my honors degree in 3 years. The successful completion of the programme while shouldering the key appointment of Marketing Head of the Welfare Committee of the Chemical Engineering Students Society (CHESS) reflects my resilience, dynamism and the desire to give back to my alma mater and community.

Despite the acceleration of my degree, I was still inspired by how prevalent chemical engineering is in our milieu. It is my earnest wish to expand my engineering skill set acquired in my undergraduate degree. I believe that my keen desire to learn coupled with my tenacity will enable me to make a valuable impact to your department and a worthy student of your school.

Since I began my tenure as an undergraduate student, furthering my studies at MIT has always been my dream, as I am highly drawn by the unique MIT experience entailing rigorous theoretical training, and the fulfilling hands-on experience of industrial and research practicum. Attached in the overleaf of this letter is my resume to provide you a holistic overview of my qualifications. I look forward to hearing your favorable reply. Do feel free to contact me at my mobile number (8192 7465) or email me at tituslhy@hotmail.com should you have any queries.

Yours Sincerely,

 

Titus Lim Hsien Yong

Enclosures:

1.     Resume

2.     Copy of Undergraduate graduation certificate and transcript.

3.     College School Graduation Certificate

4.     Testimonials

* Other supporting documents are available upon request.

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

            The game of guilt, an endless cycle of disappointment, a futile effort of continuous verbal posturing to undermine the other party and a game that invades every thought from its commencement to its finish. In this ouroboros – the classic of a dragon chasing its tail - every subsequent round of verbal exchange brings about a more heated argument with wilder accusations, personal attacks and emotive responses to comments of the other party.

            Many years ago, a couple by the name of Joe and Priscilla were victims of this game. Priscilla being the perfectionist, strongly believed that one should “sharpen their axe” while resting, so as to be more effective when working. Conversely, Joe is an idyllic person whose hobby of breeding fishes is the focal point of his breaks. As a teenager, I was fascinated and envious of the carefree life of fishes and often spent my weekends helping Joe with the maintenance of his fish tank. Yet, this was to be the point of conflict.

            “You failed your Geography final examinations! If you don’t seek to outdo yourself, how will you ever catch up with the diligent students and have a future? And you Joe! Don’t you care for Titus? Why waste his time with your fishes?” roared Priscilla one day when she found us sitting by the fish tank. Incensed by her sharp words, Joe responded in kind by calling Priscilla a selfish person who only imposes her will on others. What was supposed to be a December holiday degenerated into a shouting match colored with outrageous insinuations. It was a miracle that they managed to sleep together that night.

            Yes, Joe and Priscilla are my parents, although they did not seem that way for that week. Instead, my parents were mired in little skirmishes in the day, and a silent war at night. My dad refused to send my mum to and from her office, while my mum refused to make any dinner for my dad. In a blink of an eye, my loving home was transformed into a cold war zone. At the tender age of 15, I found this reality difficult to accept.

            My sister and I finally decided to intervene. With the fractions of our pocket money saved in the past months, we splurged on my dad’s favorite dishes and a bouquet of roses. After hours of practice the previous day, my sister successfully forged my dad’s signature on the card at the florist and wrote “I love you” before sending the bouquet to my mother’s office. Although the plan was relatively simple (and costly for our age), the execution was seamless. It did not matter that they shortly discovered the conspirators. Greeting these gestures with tears of joy and a smile, the tension between them apparently dissipated; their love re-ignited. As for the issue of our homework, my parents gave time off to my sister and I to enjoy the festivities before finally starting our revision after Christmas.

            Even though the conflict is past history, it remained clearly etched in my memory, as I have never seen my loving parents raged at each other. To my relief, my parents never fought at this magnitude again and exercised greater patience and discernment in their communication. Still, I cannot help but wonder how the situation would have reconciled without any intervention. If verbal posturing causes a situation to spiral negatively, why won’t people simply compromise?

Why Effective Communication Is Important To Me

"Communication - the human connection - is the key to personal and career success.”

Paul J. Meyer

My personal understanding of communication is that it is a transfer of signals, ideas and emotions, and the understanding of their meaning. As a student, my fellow course mates and my family are my primary sources of social interaction. The communication within such a group serves as the fundamental mechanism by which my friends and I share our frustrations, feelings of satisfaction and other thoughts. Thus, communication also provides a release for emotional expression and fulfillment of our social needs. It is not surprising then, that my achievements and happiness often stem from benefitting from such tightly knitted communication circles.

 Best friends are always around with a smile

My Happy Family

On the other hand, a lack of effective communication often gives rise to misunderstandings, unhealthy emotional expressions before spiraling further to unhappy endings.

http://ilovemyself.net/2010/11/the-greatest-source-of-unhappiness-in-your-life/

 From a professional viewpoint, I feel that communication is pivotal in day-to-day interactions at the office. A manager cannot make an informed decision without adequate information, which has to be effectively communicated to him either by his team or an external source. Once the manager makes a decision, he again has to communicate this new direction to his team to inform them of that change. It is indubitable, that the best ideas, and an efficient working environment cannot take shape without effective communication.

 Soldiers need a leader who can effectively communicate instructions in order to be an effective unit

http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-03-16/news/27059218_1_basic-training-fitness-program-bootcamp

If knowledge were to be the light that gives us direction, effective communication can be said to be the muscle fiber in our body that propels us towards it. As a freshman, I could not have taken a better module that not only imparts skills to improve my communication acumen, but also widen my social circle. I strongly believe that with the many skills I am going to learn in this course will put me in good stead for my future projects in NUS, my career, and add more flavor to my personal life.