"Why did you buy me a clock and white chrysanthemum flowers on my birthday?!" shrieked Lorraine.
"It's really romantic right? I think the chrysanthemum flowers really suit you! Oh by the way, will you be my girlfriend?" asked Jack with barely concealed glee publicly in the classroom.
SMACK!
A bewildered Jack received a tight slap to his face. Pandemonium ensued in the classroom as Lorraine attempted to rain more blows on Jack, who was shielded by our classmates
I really regretted not giving Jack more accurate advice on his surprise for Lorraine. Jack Dillon and I were close friends and classmates in college. He was born in the city of Wisconsin, America, and had lived in Singapore for a good 10 years. One would really expect him to be at least aware of what items are definitely not to be given as gifts; certainly not the Chinese emblems of death, to a Chinese girl on her birthday.
The Chinese culture is one that is hinged on superstition and omens. Unfortunately, it is believed to be "unlucky" if one were to give a clock, or any instrument that indicates time to someone else as a gift because it reminds them of their mortality. Therefore it is rude to even give an expensive watch to a Chinese, as it is tantamount to wishing the receiver a swift death.
Moreover, white chrysanthemums are thought to be "universal" symbols of death as they are often used in funerals. Yet when I probed Jack behind his intention for this flower, he simply told me that chrysanthemums represent honesty and purity in America. This admittedly intrigued me because I was brought up in a culture where I've never seen these flowers being used as gifts to anyone and definitely not to start a relationship.
It had been my idea to purchase a practical gift for Lorraine, coupled with flowers to signify his romantic intent. We were texting each other feverishly on the eve of her birthday during class on what flower he should purchase. Unfortunately we had yet to reach a conclusion when I had to attend a project conference. Since Lorraine broke her watch a week ago and had yet to purchase a replacement, Jack must have thought it was extremely practical to purchase her another watch.
It was appalling to me, that Jack did not conduct any research to his gift, and that Lorraine would react so irrationally. Till that day, I've never thought of her to be someone particular about her roots that the superstitions of our forefathers would be intrinsic in her. I guess that it would be prudent to not assume the concept of a "universal culture", because as it turns out, our gifts and actions can be deemed extremely offensive to people of different cultures. Moreover, she might have felt further incensed that Jack had the cheek to publicly ask to start a relationship with her with those gifts.
Jack and Lorraine finally patched their friendship later that week, and just got attached this year while studying abroad. You can imagine my surprise when I received word through his email.
This story has been written with the permission of the involved persons, whose names and birth history (for Jack) have been changed deliberately for the purpose of this story to protect their identity. Any relation to other persons and their life experience is purely coincidental. To the happy couple who have read this blog post, hearty congratulations once again =)
"Jack" maybe you buy her roses this time.
