Professional Communication Road
LetUsChatter Drive
Singapore 892134
8 February 2014
Professor Klavs
F. Jensen
Department of
Chemical Engineering
Massachusetts
Institute of Technology (MIT)
77 Massachusetts
Ave
Cambridge MA
02139 USA
Dear Professor Jensen,
I am writing to
apply for entry to the Masters of Science in Chemical Engineering Practice
(M.S. CEP) graduate program. Having completed my Undergraduate degree at the
National University of Singapore (NUS) in 2013, I hope to embark on a
challenging and rewarding graduate education at MIT, the premium university for
Chemical Engineers.
I believe that
apart from promoting a more cohesive varsity life at MIT, I will also be able
to cope with the rigors of graduate education. As a student in the prestigious
Global Engineering Programme (GEP) in NUS, I had to bear the additional academic
workload to accelerate the completion of my honors degree in 3 years. The
successful completion of the programme while shouldering the key appointment of
Marketing Head of the Welfare Committee of the Chemical Engineering Students
Society (CHESS) reflects my resilience,
dynamism and the desire to give back to my alma mater and community.
Despite the
acceleration of my degree, I was still inspired by how prevalent chemical
engineering is in our milieu. It is my earnest wish to expand my engineering skill
set acquired in my undergraduate degree. I believe that my keen desire to learn coupled with my tenacity will enable me to
make a valuable impact to your department and a worthy student of your school.
Since I began
my tenure as an undergraduate student, furthering my studies at MIT has always
been my dream, as I am highly drawn by the unique MIT experience entailing
rigorous theoretical training, and the fulfilling hands-on experience of
industrial and research practicum. Attached in the overleaf of this letter is
my resume to provide you a holistic overview of my qualifications. I look
forward to hearing your favorable reply. Do feel free to contact me at my
mobile number (8192 7465) or email me at tituslhy@hotmail.com should you have any queries.
Yours Sincerely,
Titus Lim Hsien Yong
Enclosures:
1.
Resume
2.
Copy
of Undergraduate graduation certificate and transcript.
3.
College
School Graduation Certificate
4.
Testimonials
* Other
supporting documents are available upon request.
Disclaimer!
ReplyDeleteThis letter is written for the purpose of ES2007S - Professional Communication and may or may not be reflective of my future intentions. Also, the address of the sender (me) has been specifically doctored.
I really hope to improve my application letter so any harsh criticism (please be constructive) is more than welcome!
Cheers everyone!
N.B
ReplyDeleteThe letter is 2 pages long, with a page break right after my name (which is located below the signature line). "Enclosures" starts on the 2nd page.
Just for a better visualisation
Hi Titus!
ReplyDeleteI think your application letter is concise and focused. Your resume is impressive too!
It is really helpful that you made use of power words and relevant examples to make your letter more persuasive. Overall, I feel that it's a job well done:) perhaps it would be better to explain why you chose MIT in the beginning paragraphs rather than in the conclusion.
Hey Eileen!
ReplyDeleteActually I did write why I wanted to go to MIT in the first paragraph! However, Joel told me to shift it somewhere else after editing my first draft so I moved it. Thank you so much for your comment!
Cheers
Titus
Hey dude,
ReplyDeleteI'm uncertain if you should actually bold points in your app letter. Have to ask Brad about that.
Umm, the entire letter was very clear and concise. It was a pleasant read I must say. Very user-focused and flattering. I think you did a great job of leveraging on your achievements to demonstrate the qualities you possess. I think it'll make Prof. Jensen keen on taking you in!
Cheers!
So it went from hey Titus, to hey jnr, to hey dude...hahaha
DeleteHey....fair lady,
Brad gave me feedback through Joel (I think Joel also felt the same way), that I should not use BOTH underline and bold in my letter. So I decided to stick with the bold because I want prof Jensen to see these points first. Do you think that approach was correct?
Cheeeeerrrrssss
Hi Titus, I like how your application letter sounds so professional and convincing. My suggestion is, you can elaborate more on how your Global Engineering Program has shaped you to become a better person. You can also include more specific expectations if you were accepted as a graduate student in MIT if you want.
ReplyDeleteCheers..
Hi Titus,
ReplyDeleteI think that your letter is almost perfect. Your good command of english has allowed you to craft a creative and interesting letter. However, I do agree with Kristyn regarding the bold points. Better consult Brad about it.
Hi Titus,
ReplyDeletePushing the blame to me huh? haha.
Anyway, you can actually put the last paragraph in front if you paraphrase it such that it makes you seem like a suitable candidate. For instance, if you know that MIT provides a lot of hands-on experience, you can say you enjoy (or if you can think of a better word) hands-on experience, etc, and hence you are a suitable candidate.
Apart from that, you letter is very cohesive, points are very relevant and the use of language is really good. Try to keep the letter to a page though.
Good Job! (:
Joel
Hey Joel!
DeleteNope not blaming you at all! I felt that you brought up an extremely important point! It looked and felt weird to me that I underlined and bolded the points right after you told me! hahaha! I am giving credit where it is due! I actually think bolding is a bad idea now, maybe I should just underline it. What do you think?
Thank you for your point on on me enjoying hands on experience too! Hmm..I just feel that my resume does not have any "hands on" experience to speak of, so the credibility of my letter is circumspect. Although seriously, I do like hands on! Hahaha! Moreover, I think moving it disrupts the flow of my paragraphs =( I am however open to more suggestions if you really feel strongly about this!
Your honest opinion is greatly appreciated!
THANKS ONCE AGAIN
I'm so impressed by you! No, I meant your letter! :D I have to say the letter is very written and seriously, I don't know what else you can do to make it better! Give yourself a pat on the back for it! :D Very good choice of words as although it did content a lot of information it's concise and clear. The letter really shows me how keen and passionate you are about what you are doing! :)
ReplyDeleteWow Brudderrrrr!!! Your application letter looks so impressive. If i had a company, I would employ you immediately or if not force to join my company. HAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteComing back to your application letter, I think that your use of bold words were absolutely effective in attracting my attention. Your paragraphs are all short and sweet.This is important because a person who has to read many resumes at one time would be delighted to read one that is concise and to the point.
Your power words, however were so powerful that I had to consult a dictionary;)HEHE
Still it is a good work done.